Y
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 4:14 PM Y
blogged
Was wondering what makes me so crazy, so sad these few days. I figure out that I am trying to prepare myself for the departure that might be happening soon. I thought he hates me, I am someone lesser than zero. And I am OK with it. No, I'm not. The worst thing in the world is that when you like someone and he hates you. I think he hates me even if he didn't show. Someone like him so nice would hate me means I am really someone terrible worth dying. Don't be sad because I am too coward to do any suicidal stuff. Nobody pities terrible people like me. So in order not to look like an idiot, in order not to cry that terribly, in order not to be so hurt, in order not to miss him so much by the time, I think I should hate him. I will not talk to him unlesss necessary. I should stop looking at the television which shows four different locations that cameras is shooting whenever I can and wonder when he would appear in it which makes me so pervertic and need a psychiatrist. I should just stop laughing infront of him, jump around infront of him wanting his attraction. You see, this is how stupid people can be when they love someone, they behave like a 5 year old. He will never like me because he knows how ugly I am from the inside to the outside. From as full as a hundred, I'm going to make that to zero, or like a glass filled with water to the brim and overflowing, I'm going to empty it to nothing. It feels great when you were crying and bathing at the same time as the water will wash away your tears and you will not see tears but just water.4.55pm Tuesday 24th February 2009