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Friday, July 31, 2009 - 10:02 AM Y
blogged
10am. Believe I will be blogging the whole day in school.In life, I was cheated twice by men. Reflecting back, I felt so naive like a 2 year old whom child trafficker will just give me a lollipop and I will follow them home. Yesterday, I discovered a fact which makes me feels like vomiting. I really thought I was going to throw up. When people reach a maximum disgust, they will feel this way. Except that I have nothing for me to throw up because I ate almost nothing yesterday. Some men are such great liars and bastard. They are scary and unreliable. And they are promise breakers and they don't treat what they say seriously. They are disgusting to be going around hurting other people. I'm losing faith. Nice guy dosen't exist.He says he have a girlfriend of 8 years back at home town waiting for him. I believe. A few months later, he was with another girl. I felt like slapping him, shouting and yelling, kick him in his groin and tell him he is a bastard and that some day hope he will not have a daughter if not I will hire people to gang rape her. He says he is sincere of marrying me and loves me best. I believe. A few months later, he was with another girl.He says he wants to bring me out for a movie and we will watch LOTR again together some day. I believe. He dosen't call or even send me a bloody fucking message. He says his love for me is true that he will prove to me. I believe. And his love only lasted three months on me.He says.. He says.. He says.. He says and he says.. Both men whom I met in part/moments of my life are such great disappointment. What can I look forward to?11am. Lab work in class. We made a mirror out of plastic because we coat it we some terms called physical vapor depoisition method.However, things gone and over is now to me lost and gone forever. No point thinking about it then making myself sad and full of hatred and vengence. Time with them together seems like a blurr and like a dream and seems untrue. Even though thing happend like a few months ago, it felt as though happened years ago. I have already let these become a past. Truely have already let go. Sometimes in life, we have to go through some stages so we will learn from our own mistakes. Some mistakes made will make you realised, learn and understand and make you a stronger person. I still have to thank this two guys who have once makes my life so miserable. I bought Delifrance's Chocolate Croissant. Yummy and delicious. Imagine that some flour mix with water, butter and sugar and put to bake will cost you $2.75. It is going to last me the entire day. I used to be able to eat a plate of chicken rice using two hours. Yes, those type you sit infront of the plate of chicken rice for two hours, your mission is to not finish it in lessr than two hours, put a few grains of rice inside your mouth and chew then chit chat with a friends so that the rice can mix with your saliva which produce enzymes to digest it or whatever thingy. Already a small piece of chicken, you can further separate them into another few small pieces. My friend's friend can eat a chicken floss bread and last her the entire day and she still feels full. I'm going to try it with the chocolate croissant. Who tries to tempt me with food today will have retribution.
大S and 小S is officially my favourite idol now. Although I have like them since a long time ago. Yesterday I watch this variety show, 大S says to treat hungry stomach as a sort of satisfaction. Wow. Good sort of encourgement. We should not look hungriness as a sort of torture but to enjoy it. Wow. Sounds crazy but I like it. And she says doing sit ups before sleep really helps to make you toner and firmer. Like everything they say is from a mantra or a 武林密集 found after lost for centuries. I was only 2.5kg lighter than last week. Quite sad. I'm so slow in losing weight. 2.5kg since so little but I felt my pants becomes loose and thats a good sign. But to console myself a little, 2.5kg is quite a lot. 2.5kg is equivilent to 2.5 litre of water, equivilent to approximately the weight of 25 burgers, equivilent to almost the weight of half a watermelon. I do not dare to say much about losing weight because I do not know I will succeed or not this time. I have failed many times. Or succeeded but failed at maintaining it. I am afraid that I do not have the perseverance and determination like what I always am. Wanted so much for my rate of perseverance and determimnation to increase so much. Somehow, I should concur and overcome the hungriness for a few days, when I get use to it, it will be like nothing. And food will not become a necessity in my life. 11.45am Friday 31st July 2009