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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 5:51 PM Y
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Ok, there is someone out there hate me like hell. Maybe there is plenty. Good.
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The best thing in staff party was perhaps just photo takings, the speech that Mr Jason Lee gives thanking us and also seeing some old colleagues. Feel like drinking myself drunk. But decided not to because: 1. I would gain back the weight I've tried so hard to shed away doing some self torture. 2. I didn't wear any pants inside for protection to prevent people to see what design and color type of panties I'm wearing inside. Maybe nobody would even wants to see. 3. The feeling of vomitting is scary, and I've ate dinner. What I would throw up would be really disgusting 4. Afraid that I might do things which I don't remember AGAIN. Then I will regret terribly AGAIN. 5. People will think that I am a lousy drinker. 6. Scared that I will worsen my already very lousy image.Tomorrow's my off day, decided to sweat myself out by playing basketball or going for a long jog and clear my mind at the same time.4.05pm Wednesday 30September2009
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Monday, September 28, 2009 - 9:29 AM Y
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Its 9.30am. Just came back from shooting some hoops after feeling too guilty for the over indulgence in food yesterday having dinner at my sister's place. I took out my slipper and throw at the ball because the ball is stuck like this for about ten times:
My sister did all the cooking yesterday as it was mama's birthday. She even baked the birthday cake herself. We were impressed. And the food is just so nice. Before she get married, papa think she couldn't even come up with a few dishes.
So, the table is long enough to sit the 8 of us. Papa, mama, ShiSi and brother in law, ShiYi, SiQing and her boyfriend and me. Brother in law says that that table can be extended to accomodate 2 more people. It was when me and ShiYi can bring someone back. >.<

After dinner, we watched F1 in the living room. I was standing up the whole time because standing up, the food flow down the intestine better (I think so). I keep irritates Qing by telling her after this meal, I'm fatter and I look fatter and I had a bigger tummy. She says no difference. I'm thinner than the past already. But I argued that I had eaten so much. Then she says: Ok, then you are so fat. Happy? I think we can not communicate with each other. It is very difficult to communicate with you.
So, while waiting for F1 to start, Qing and her boyfriend and I are discussing and arguing on drinking too much water and drinking too little water will cause 水肿 and also after exercising, we could not eat during the next one hour because this is when our absorption rate is at it highest, thus causing us fat. And also that there is report on we should eat standing up and after food, we should not be sitting down.
It is nice for family to gather around, drinking some hot tea, chit chatting and eating moon cakes. I told papa maybe he should get one of the car in the F1 race, so he can drive to Penang in like two hours. Then we were simply amazed by it only takes like 10 seconds to pump about 80 litres of petroleum into the vehicle. I think it is so unfair than when accident happens, safety car have to come out, it is so unfair as no cars can over take and have to slower down the pace and the slowest car behind could catch up.

I remembered last year's F1 race, I were at the reception counter, with the TV playing it Live. But I am not interested.
Everytime when I see my eldest sister and her husband, I will think how fortunate my sister is. I will always remembers her wedding day. She had her wedding at the Grand Hyatt hotel and she had the most unique marriage in this century. She was carried into the hall in a 花轿. I could still remembered how all the guest were amazed and go "wowing" when my sister made her entrance. The sedan is now in her living room and I asked my sister did she sit in it sometimes to 回味一下当时的滋味? She says nope, her weight increased and she is afraid she might break it. LOL. 



If I'm able to get married someday, I think I would want something unique too. My entrance will be coming into the hall sitting on an elephant? Then don't know what animal association will say that I abuse animals. Muahahaha~~
10.30am Monday 28September2009
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Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 11:27 AM Y
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Ok, I smell like a grabage truck when I sweat. Felt so much apologising to this auntie who sat beside me in bus yesterday: "Aunty, paiseh that I am smelly". At first was still considering whether to stand up, but was feeling quite dizzy. One more week and school will resume, my life cycle will be again like this - sleep, school, work, sleep, school and work. But no matter what, I must squeeze out time for gym. Afraid that weight will just go shooting up. Staff party's dress code is school uniform. I got something with Joy from Bugis. It is something machiam like cosplay. Damn pretty. Love it. Haven't go for a photoshoot yet. Want to keep some memories of me when I'm still 21. My room is in a mess. Look like someone have turn my room upside down in search of a piece of treasure. But I'm lazy to pack up my room. Can I have magic like Harry Potter? Then in a blink I can clean up my room and I can make myself slim and pretty. I'm sorry that I'm selfish. Just doing what I feel like and not doing what I don't without considering for others. I chose gym. 11.50am Saturday 26September2009
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Friday, September 25, 2009 - 4:50 PM Y
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Just return after my jog from home to my work place~~ Nice sweat. Realise that exercising dosen't need any companion. As long as I have music to listen to and thoughts in my mind to keep me occupied.4.45pm Friday 25September2009
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Wednesday, September 23, 2009 - 9:04 AM Y
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Gym was good yesterday, my sweat can form a small pool of water. Totally exhausted. Must really thank Alvin for the nice music he help me saved. Some music is just so great that makes you want to sweat it all and give you speed and power.That equipment to train nice abs is called The Abench. It is easier than you do crunches, but yet, you feel that more strength is being used in the abdominal area. Nice. Now in school, woke up at 7 when I set my alarm at 7.30am. FYP is making me so stress. Felt that there is so much for me to do yet didn't know to start from where. Dreaded school holiday to end. Making me no life. However, I've already have no life. Maybe in the future, I can be a tai-tai if I'm lucky to get a great husband (very unlikely), make friends around the gym so that we can hang out there everyday attending the classes, be it aerobics, pilates, kick boxing, salsa or jazz dance. When I'm old, I'm still fit, healthy and a full of life aunty/mother with no difficulties climbing the stairs and dosen't need a walking stick or walk as slow as a snail. Perhaps, it isn't no life for me, I chooses no life because being in no life it is much simpler and happier and stressless. Determine the definition of "a great husband". I couldn't. I may not be "a great wife" either. Maybe thats when you have set an expectation for others, you have to set some for yourself too. Reflect. No one is perfect and flawless. You have to accept everything of him/her. Even her pimples, his dandruff, her face in the morning without make up or his loud snores at night. Some women would rather choose not to know her boyfriend's previous relationships. Neither do I. To most men, their first love is the most beautiful, memories of them together, things that they have done or said is as pretty as fairy tales. All people have their past. Whats in the past isn't important anymore. I guess remembering the happy moments is enough, no point regretting and finding more "IF". What if we met at the right time? What if I'll be everything you want? What if? What if? Life have to move on. Be strong, show the next women in your life that she can trust upon you that even when the roof falls, you will be there to hold the roof up with your hands and protect her. I guess when it comes to the word "love", my mentality can come as low as a 3 year old. I do not know how to handle it, how to show my emotion or hide my emotion. Maybe before even really finding out what love is, I should start things from the simplest and basic which I have already failed so terribly. Things like respect, honesty, compassion, politeness and many many more. I envied my mother. When she's 21, she already have two kids. I'm 21, I feel even smaller than a kid. My parents have been married for 32 years. And they are still as loving as ever. To get along and be in love with a partner for a life time just needs so much from both parties.Commitments. Loyalty. Devotion. Promise. Pledge. Vow. Obligation. Dedication. Look at these words. They seems like weighing tons of kilograms. Like what my friend have said, I'm afraid because of the future. If I continue having plenty of considerations, there will not be a first step. People sees, feels or looks at love differently. Some just follows what their heart feels, some just thinks too much like me.12.00noon Wednesday 23September2009Am I really doing FYP?
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Tuesday, September 22, 2009 - 10:03 AM Y
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Couldn't sleep well these two days. My mind is processing too much, analyzing too much.. Shall hit the gym again. It may stop me from thinking, even if just for a second..10.15am Tuesday 22September2009Why should people think too much making things complicated? If only I could be someone who would just follow the rythm of how my heart beats..
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Monday, September 21, 2009 - 11:46 AM Y
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Guys, thanks for the walk...11.55am Monday 21 September2009
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Sunday, September 20, 2009 - 1:13 PM Y
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... Guess what? I'm the team leader for this FYP project. My FYP team mates must surely hate me right to the core. I screw up a hell lot during my first FYP project. Now it is really troublesome to organise meetings, have to ask when who and who is available, have to book for the lab, have to email the faci to ask for materials and equipments. I'm just not the sort of "leader" person. Anyway, me weight is stuck. Damn sad. But thats ok, because there is this analysis shown that my muscle mass increases. Muscle is better than fats. That means I really did a hell lot of a exercise. I have too much fats in my body, I think I'm like a polar bear ready for hibernating. Working hard on training my flabby arms and thighs. Yesterday I tried this machine, because I see this women, with very nice abs, you can just feel the stretch there. I want to have beautiful abs like her. I have burnt exacyly 1000 calories on cross trainer, setting myself either one of the target, 2 hours or 1000 calories. I took 110 minutes to burnt 1000 calories, entering my weight. Sweat like machiam I was standing in the rain. I was like screening my "neighbours" machine and their heart rate is like only 150-160, I know it depends on age, and it is quite obvious that their speed is much faster than me. Why? Maybe it depends on the level you set? Feels like asking the fitness trainer but is too shy. I thought I was gonna die when my heart rate reaches 191, it is already over the heart rate limit for cardio training. However hard I try, couldn't keep my heart rate below 150, its fat burning zone. Hitting the gym again later, couldn't meet up YiMeng AGAIN. But sometimes, I think it is better to go to the gym alone. Because different people like to work out on different machines. Anyway, that lady brings pandan leaves into steam bath, I thought that was nice. The steam rooms smells like pandan cake. 1.30pm Sunday 20September09Just my luck to be FYP team leader by drawing lots.
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Saturday, September 19, 2009 - 4:26 AM Y
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Heart broken. Once. Twice. Thrice. Still counting...What do I want? Even I myself couldn't understand what love is anymore. Or was it even love? Worst still, did I even love before? Perhaps I didn't even loved. It is difficult and like a mission impossible that I could love someone and yet he have the same feeling for me too. Most of the times is either I like that guy, he dosen't like me or, that guy like me, but I didn't have any feelings for him. Aren't I already counted lucky that someone did like me? I mean me? Come on? Look at me! All of my charateristics are all negative to the maximum. I'm going to die single and childless one day. 4.30am Saturday 19September2009
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Friday, September 18, 2009 - 2:42 PM Y
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That day meet up with Samantha, she taught me do weight lifting at gym, so yesterday at work, fatty Tan laugh at me because he saw me this this scotch tape holder which weighs more than 1kg to do weights. -.-" Well, aren't I clever enough to find a substitute even at work?Well, I have to increase my metabolism rate because of it being to low, burning too little calories makes me fat. So, to increase in my BMR, I have to increase my muscle mass by doing resistance training. Many women have the mindset that to lose weight by going for a run, but what the gym people told me is that, to lose weight, the better option is increase the muscle mass in the body.Went gym yesterday, finally knew whats the machine that I love to work out on everytime when I hit the gym called, its Cross Trainer. What I found out is that the calories I burnt on this cross trainer and the sweat I can give out is far much more than what I could on a thread mill.Yesterday went to SKCC and play basketball with my colleagues. Out of so many times that I have went down that place with my colleagues, yesterday is the best. Most fun. Really did enjoyed myself for the first time going there. Anyway, that guy is so insincere as he ask his friend to help him get my number. I need a real man. Someone who can repair the sink when it get choke, someone who can change a light bulb, and someone so man who can take care of his women, be there for her, and someone who can be so terribly nice and reasonable without temper. Something I have learnt recently is that when there isn't going to be: they lives happily ever after.. THE END, let it go. No more youth to spend, getting old.3.15pm Friday 18Sept 2009
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Thursday, September 17, 2009 - 12:18 AM Y
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Anyway, KBOX really rob me of my life. How many friend's birthday have I missed because it is on Saturday? And how many more will I be missing?
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Wednesday, September 16, 2009 - 11:32 PM Y
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Nothing to blog about. Basketball, Mahjong, L4D, Gym, FYP meeting, shopping. Maybe I have. But didn't know where to start.
Didn't really eat. Still fat.
11.15pm Wednesday 16September2009
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Thursday, September 10, 2009 - 10:59 PM Y
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Really couldn't understands how young people think nowadays. Went playing baskteball and there was this bunch of small "lians", they were like 16, in their tank tops, hot pants, slippers, they play basketball with their long hair down. WOW. But I didn't play basketball with them at the same court, the small "lians" of course plays basketball with the small "bengs". My half side of courts were two Filipinos and Zhu Han. I was shooting the whole day. And I'm listening to my mp3, blasting music while shooting, feels great, whats more is without the scorching Sun. Then one small "lian" came over to pick the ball that rolled over... SHE EVEN SPRAYED PERFUME. WOW. SOMPA IS PERFUME. How come we aren't like this in the old days? Ok, then the Filipino guy talk to me, but I can't hear him as my mp3 is too loud, after taking my ear piece off, He repeats: You practice everyday? Me: Haha, no.. long time never play already..He: Oh hoho, you are very good.MUAHAHA!! Opps, cannot be too proud. I can only shoot, but bad at the rest, lazy to run and will do "season parking", lousy at dribbling, defense, lay up and blah blah blah..11.20pm Thursday 10September09
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Tuesday, September 8, 2009 - 12:02 PM Y
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Yesterday I drank with customers. Drank not much. But fast. It was fun. MUAHAHA~~ I was compliment that I look like someone who goes clubbing whenever I can because he say I'm good at finishing all the alcohol available fastly. I got talent. Muahaha~~ The three of us finish the more than half a bottle of Martell in like 15 minutes. Although not as fast as the scary 5 minutes my supervisor could with their superior. Joke of the day:Customer lose in game, says want to go toilet first then come back drink his brandy.Customer: 我上厕所先.Me: 可以, 喝完先给你上, 要上厕所喝多一杯. Customer: haha.. 你说的! ' 喝完给你上'.I took a while before my mind process what it means. LOL. Everyone laugh so hardly. They even jio me go outside drink as they say night is still young, but I'm not an alcoholic addict. Denied the offer politely, telling them I'm drunk already and my bed misses my companion.12.25pm Tuesday 8 September 2009
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Monday, September 7, 2009 - 8:11 AM Y
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It's 8.11am. First time I sent another drunk person home. Now I know what a tedious job it is. I'm not drunk. Thanks to those who tried to send me home during my drunk times, especially Eileen even though it have been a long time ago but for many times. Haha.. Really.. Now I understand.. Perhap now I'm getting better at drinking, I'm not yet drunk. Muahaha.. LOL~~!! Time for reflection. What for getting myself drunk? I'm going to be together with a men who loves me as if his eyes, mind and heart have no other space to accomodate anything else. He dosen't give a damn, he dosen't give a damn, he dosen't give a damn.. Wish him happiness. But wish me more happiness..5.19am Monday 7th September2009
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Saturday, September 5, 2009 - 4:15 AM Y
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Once I reach home, rush for the toilet and leave ASAP. I wasn't late for going Malaysia. I became cocky and told my parents proudly that if I promise them I will be back on time, I will. Once I got on the car, I slept. All the way till we reach Kulai, Mama waked me up for breakfast, felt like saying they could both go ahead for breakfast while I sleep in the car but decide not to, it is bak kut teh. Guess what? A dissappointment when I realise that the bak kut teh store wasn't open. zZz -.-" Just drink teh bing at the coffee shop, it taste horrible and I kept complaining it is bitter. Mama and papa both tested and said it was sweet. They say we can eat at another bak kut teh shop later in the noon. Then topic from Singaporean and Malaysian loves drinking kopi and we have lots of coffee shop here, China no coffee shop because they don't drink kopi becomes my dark circles, my job, and how come I reach home so late and links to my sister have a friend whose younger sister work in KBox too, and she learns "bad stuff" like smoking. Felt like saying papa also smoke, no right to say others. Erm.. Fine, papa quitted smoking. Power of love, he quit smoking a few years ago because mama asked him to. Felt like arguing back that it depends on the person how much determination she have. See? I still don't smoke.
富贵花 at house in Kulai. Papa is proud of this plant because it is beautiful, it is a plant of high value. There use to be a time when people their age is interested in this plant like how they are interested with Luo Han Fish, or the "kim leng fish" and the chicken that called "ling long 鸡" or whatever and etc.
Tanya. Believe me, I guess the hot topic now in that area is dogs.
Dog at the gate.
Puppies of Tanya. Their eyes haven't open yet. They are really cute lor, they make noises like what babies make.
After playing with the dogs, wash my hand, remove my make up and I slept. Speak truthfully, I haven't bathe. After a night of work and after a night of partying at Cineleisure of Fatty's birthday, I haven't bathe. Muahaha~~ This is me, I am proud to even say I'm better than what I am in the past. I can play basketball, then later take a nap with the sweaty shirt and shorts which I wore while playing basketball.
Woke up too late for bak kut teh. It was already 3, the shop have already close so we have to find other alternative.

Food is nice.
Then I found this interesting thing in the cafe, handphone charging area, available for different handphone models. Charge at your own risk. How it works: Put your handphone inside to charge, lock it up with the key, then go for your meal.
The bill is like over $35.64. Ringgit. Mama say it is expensive. I said that it was affordable because I earn Singapore dollars. My cousin went overseas to study, come back Malaysia be a secondary school teacher, earn less then 2000 Ringgit per month, I, with not yet a diploma certificate, convert what I earn into Ringgit, it is still much better than what a secondary school teacher earns here. Conclusion: Be thrifty a little, save more then years later return to Malaysia to 养老.
Then we headed to Kota Tinggi to find Kristine.
Tanya's husband, Kristine. It is not that my papa is bad to separate them. Papa need dogs at both at Kota Tinggi and Kulai to take care of certain property.
Can you see the swallow flying? A good Samsung I8 camera. LOL.


Another dog at the gate.
Good pose?
Trying to get some nice and artistic picture of Kristine because papa says he wants to show them to people. I asked to "hao lian" that he have a beautiful dog? He says nope, he wants to sell the puppies away with a good pricing. Kristine and Tanya are both imported dogs from Thailand. Kristine and Tanya are born in Thailand but their parents are from America. So, the puppies ancestors is in other terms, from America. LOL!

Pineapple. Mama says it isn't yet a fruit. It is a flower. Quite 深奥 to understand.
Ok, this is a durian tree, our neighbour's durian tree. It's stems and roots is at their land, but it branches is on top of our land. So, if the durian trees durian falls on our land, it becomes our durian. Muahaha~~!Pond.
Not a photograph taken from internet. These are lotus planted by mama. Wonder will there be lotus roots in future.
A stretch of x'mas trees.
My uncle's property just borrowing my father's land.
My uncle is doing many major business, selling plants is one of them. Mama say the soil is tied on the branches so it will grow roots, and multiply. A single plant, will become lots of plants. Business. WOW.
Papa says time to pack up and visit Tanya's first bacth's son. Ah wang, which my papa gives to my uncle.

My "weapon". Mama say I have to be armed, if not Ahwang will knocked me down like a bowling ball rolling down a pint.

We was trespassing. Uncle wasn't at home and there was a barrier that to block our car from driving in. But just when we walked a while, uncle came back. Maybe because they are siblings, he got 心灵感应 with my papa, we drive in.

Yet, another dog at the gate. Conclusion: Dogs love staying near gate.

I'm not afraid of Ahwang that I stay inside the car. Because beside this is rubber plantation. There were mosquitoes sucking my blood out of me, itching me whole body that I get back into the car ASAP.
We had our dinner at my other uncle's shop. He was holding a feast because of the Lunar 7th month. There were roast pigs, roast ducks and many food. And this was the only time I saw many of my relatives other than Chinese New Year. As I grow older, I find it more and more difficult to communicate with my relatives. No topic. Or I wasn't good at talking, my sisters were always better with the senior and their kids. Nonsense, maybe I didn't really put in effort at socialising with my relatives. So, after dinner, I grab a can of Heineken, sit aside and sip on the can of Heineken while listening to their topic. I thought Heineken really taste better than Tiger. Topics they covered on were health, holidaying, dogs and children. I realise how fast kids grow. My father's elder sister's son, which means my cousin's daughter is now 11 years old. It feels like it was only yesterday when I saw my cousin's wife pregnant.
5.55am Saturday 5thSeptember2009