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Wednesday, September 23, 2009 - 9:04 AM Y
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Gym was good yesterday, my sweat can form a small pool of water. Totally exhausted. Must really thank Alvin for the nice music he help me saved. Some music is just so great that makes you want to sweat it all and give you speed and power.That equipment to train nice abs is called The Abench. It is easier than you do crunches, but yet, you feel that more strength is being used in the abdominal area. Nice. Now in school, woke up at 7 when I set my alarm at 7.30am. FYP is making me so stress. Felt that there is so much for me to do yet didn't know to start from where. Dreaded school holiday to end. Making me no life. However, I've already have no life. Maybe in the future, I can be a tai-tai if I'm lucky to get a great husband (very unlikely), make friends around the gym so that we can hang out there everyday attending the classes, be it aerobics, pilates, kick boxing, salsa or jazz dance. When I'm old, I'm still fit, healthy and a full of life aunty/mother with no difficulties climbing the stairs and dosen't need a walking stick or walk as slow as a snail. Perhaps, it isn't no life for me, I chooses no life because being in no life it is much simpler and happier and stressless. Determine the definition of "a great husband". I couldn't. I may not be "a great wife" either. Maybe thats when you have set an expectation for others, you have to set some for yourself too. Reflect. No one is perfect and flawless. You have to accept everything of him/her. Even her pimples, his dandruff, her face in the morning without make up or his loud snores at night. Some women would rather choose not to know her boyfriend's previous relationships. Neither do I. To most men, their first love is the most beautiful, memories of them together, things that they have done or said is as pretty as fairy tales. All people have their past. Whats in the past isn't important anymore. I guess remembering the happy moments is enough, no point regretting and finding more "IF". What if we met at the right time? What if I'll be everything you want? What if? What if? Life have to move on. Be strong, show the next women in your life that she can trust upon you that even when the roof falls, you will be there to hold the roof up with your hands and protect her. I guess when it comes to the word "love", my mentality can come as low as a 3 year old. I do not know how to handle it, how to show my emotion or hide my emotion. Maybe before even really finding out what love is, I should start things from the simplest and basic which I have already failed so terribly. Things like respect, honesty, compassion, politeness and many many more. I envied my mother. When she's 21, she already have two kids. I'm 21, I feel even smaller than a kid. My parents have been married for 32 years. And they are still as loving as ever. To get along and be in love with a partner for a life time just needs so much from both parties.Commitments. Loyalty. Devotion. Promise. Pledge. Vow. Obligation. Dedication. Look at these words. They seems like weighing tons of kilograms. Like what my friend have said, I'm afraid because of the future. If I continue having plenty of considerations, there will not be a first step. People sees, feels or looks at love differently. Some just follows what their heart feels, some just thinks too much like me.12.00noon Wednesday 23September2009Am I really doing FYP?